October 1, 2008 was the day my life changed forever. It was the day my father died. Weeks lead up to that moment, but one memory in particular stands out among all the others. It’s a memory that has carried me through many a long sorrowful night.
August 18th, I was driving to the hospital, my dad was going to be admitted and I planned on staying with him. While driving, I was almost in a trance like state when I heard God speak.
In the past, I prayed to hear God speak, I poured over scripture longing for a word, but that day I only wanted to drive. I wanted to be numb because I knew if I wasn’t, I would start crying and possibly never stop. So I wasn’t trying to hear God, I wasn’t even speaking to Him, but that day He spoke to me.
“Your father is going to die and you must help your mom through it.”
You would think such a declaration would send me into hysterics…my worst fears confirmed, but it didn’t. That was because with that word also came the most humbling and fulfilling peace I have ever known.
That peace steadied my racing pulse, quieted my confusion and calmed my aching heart. It comforted me as I drove down that long stretch of Highway and as I parked my car, it enabled me to take a deep breath and walk into that hospital.
Since then, I have tried not to question God about why He took my father. It hasn’t been easy, but I do accept His will and I accept the fact that it is not for me to know the why. One thing that helps me with this acceptance is having confidence that it WAS Gods will and that confidence gives me a different kind of peace. It is a peace that helps me to enjoy life, to not lose hope.
Gods’ peace has carried me through the toughest situation I had ever encountered and it carries me still.
I have never before or after that day heard God speak so directly and with such power, but I know He still speaks, sometimes through a song, sometimes through the Bible or a book and other times through people. No matter the manner, He speaks.
He speaks to me and He speaks to you.
I pray that as you face challenges in your life, that you too can experience the power of God speaking to you. He is there. He may not speak the same as He did me on that fateful day, but He will speak if you will take the time to listen.
1 Kings 19:11-12 NIV, The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.
How has God spoke to you in the past? Please share.
In loving memory of my father. I love you, daddy.
No comments:
Post a Comment