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Monday, May 2, 2016

I love you…I just don’t want to spend time with you

The phone rang again.  Would he answer this time or let it roll over to voice mail?


“Hey, honey. It’s me.”

“Hey, how’s it going?” He sounds distracted. As usual.

I swallow the lump in my throat.  If I thought he really wanted to know, I’d tell him. But after ten years together I know he doesn’t expect a genuine reply. 

“Good. I’m just calling to see if you’ll be home for dinner.  I’ll make your favorite—”

“Not tonight. A client flew in and I’m taking him out.”

Of course you are.   I exhale softly.  “Okay, well how about we go out to eat tomorrow night? You pick the place.”

“Sorry, but I can’t. This merger is really putting me behind.”

“What about us?” I squeeze my eyes closed. I will not cry.

“What about us? Wasn’t it only a few weeks ago I took you to see that play?”

Through the phone I hear papers crinkle as he continues to work.  “That was four months ago…for my birthday.” How could he forget?

“Sheesh. Calm down. I know it was just last week we met for lunch.”

I count to three before replying, “That was two weeks ago and you were late, only had one cup of coffee, then you split. “

A loud sigh whooshes in my ear. “I’m sorry. I just have too much on my plate right now…deadlines to meet, people to please…”

The silence becomes deafening as he waits for me to let him off the hook.  It’s what I always do, but not this time.  His absence from our marriage has gone on for too long.

“I have a few hours open Thursday evening. Make reservations at your favorite restaurant, text me the info and I’ll meet you.”

A smile tugs at my lips but my heart is cautious. “Are you sure you won’t forget?”

“That’s why I said text me the info. I’ll put it on my calendar.”

I bite back my snarky reply, Was our anniversary being today NOT on your calendar?

“Do you need anything else?  I’m late for a meeting.”

“Nope. Love you, can’t wait for our date.”

“Love you too. Bye.”

I click the END button on my phone and wipe the tears off my cheeks.

You love me, you just don’t want to spend time with me.


The above story is fiction.

But the lessons we can glean from it are not.

Relationships take work.

They require time and effort from all parties involved. 

If one person isn’t invested, the whole relationship is strained.

If left unchecked it can be fatal…just like cancer if not treated.

I know if I act like my marriage is an inconvenience or something to be checked off my “to-do”  list that it wouldn’t be long before my husband questions my love,  devotion and my motives for being in the relationship.  

A relationship with God is similar. 

Salvation isn’t a “Get out of jail free card” nor is it like a membership to a country club (what’s in it for me, how does 
church/God benefit me).

Salvation is an invitation to join into a relationship with God. (click to tweet)

Going to church a few times a year isn’t going to cut it.
Likewise, going to church every week, tithing and volunteer work do not equate a healthy relationship (though it may appear to).

God knows when your heart is in it or if you are just pretending to love Him. 

God knows your motives better than you do. He knows if you’re more into appearances than actual devotion to Him.

He knows all this and yet He loves you anyway. 

God wants a relationship with you.  He wants to be included in your day, considered in your decision making and part of your  life. (Click to tweet)

He’s waiting for you to want Him, like He wants you.  He wants to share Himself with you, but He’s waiting for you to choose Him. 

Your schedule may be cram packed, but you can still squeeze in a few moments with Him.

We make time for what’s important to us.  We make time for those we love and value.

QUESTIONS: How’s your relationship with God?   If it were a real marriage would you be going strong or would you be in counseling? Would you be more in love with each passing year or headed for divorce court?