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Monday, May 12, 2014

Unintentionally Self-Righteous

I’ve come to realize Church people (AKA Christians) often unintentionally hurt people.

I say unintentionally because I truly believe they mean well. 

I’m currently in a strange place in my life and walk with God.

He is doing something in me and my family that I don’t understand. Yet, I know we are obeying Him. We seek Him daily about this situation and yet many of our close friends doubt what God is telling us.

We are currently without a church home. Have been for a few months. Yep, we don’t go to church.

In fact, the more we try to find a church to call “home”, the more it seems God is instructing us to stay home.

This seems completely contrary to His Word about not neglecting Christian fellowship and all sorts of Scriptural references about raising kids up "right" (believe me, I’ve had many quoted to me lately).

And as well meaning as peoples intentions are, there are times I've felt really bad because of them. I’ve felt as if I’m a bad parent. That I’m not devoted to Christ. That I’m selfish. That I’m being too picky (after all there’s no perfect church, but going to any church must be better than staying home).
But here’s the catch. 

I know this is God’s will for us at this time.

I don’t understand the why, nor do I know how long this will take.

My heart aches to attend a church, to be part of the family of God, to worship with other believers, to pray for others, to learn more about God’s Word…but God is showing me that I don’t need a building or a “church home” for any of this to happen. I am the temple of God because He lives in me. Everywhere I am can be ‘church’.  (Click to Tweet).

Also, NOT having a church home is causing me and my husband to be even MORE INTENTIONAL about seeking God. It’s amazing how much we can become dependent upon the church and let it take the place of God Himself directing us, sustaining us, fellowshipping with us. 

Daily, God is showing me more about Himself. To be honest, I’m not sure I would be learning this if I were dedicated to a church body.

This may not make any sense to you. You may be tempted to judge me…go ahead. So many of my closest friends are. 

They mean well. They want to see us in church. They truly believe our son is missing out by NOT going.

But I know, and God knows, we pray with our son everyday, we talk to him about God daily, and he is learning Scripture. We don’t need a church for him to learn about having a relationship with God, we simply must live it before him. 

This has been a great learning experience. And throughout this journey I've had to remind myself that emotions are not reality. Likewise, I've had to keep my heart soft and not get upset at the people who care so much for me and my family.

Now you might be wondering why I’m telling you all this. 

Here’s the reason: I realize I’m guilty of being “well meaning” but hurting others. I’m guilty of being self righteous and judgmental because I think God can only work in one way or that I know what He is telling you better than you know. 

I want to apologize. 

I’m not God and I’m sorry if I’ve ever made you feel bad. 

I don’t want to be a “know it all”. I don’t want to assume anything.

I am not perfect.

I don’t have it all figured out.

I’m just here to share with you what God is doing in my life. I pray you will be blessed by it and that God speaks to you- not me. 

I’m His servant, even when it doesn’t make sense (click to tweet).

Have a blessed week.

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