The One NOT Chosen

“So they nominated two men: Joseph called Barsabbas (also known as Justus) and Matthias. Then they prayed, “Lord, you know everyone’s heart. Show us which of these two you have chosen to take over this apostolic ministry, which Judas left to go where he belongs.” Then they cast lots, and the lot fell to Matthias; so he was added to the eleven apostles.” Acts 1:23-26 NIV

I paused as I read this.

Two men were singled out. 

One man was chosen. Chosen by God to replace Judas.

How did the other man feel?

What did he think about God’s decision?

According to previous Scriptures, both men were good candidates—with equal qualifications. 

Yet only one was chosen.

 

I can’t help but wonder how Joseph, called Barsabbas, felt.

I know how I would have felt- how I have felt when I wasn’t chosen for a position I was qualified for.

I felt upset. Angry. Cheated. 

I also felt rejected. Like I wasn’t good enough. I wonder what was wrong with me. I wondered if I’d upset God somehow. I wondered why I wasn’t found worthy.

Even when I was happy for the person who was chosen, I wondered, “Why wasn’t it me? What more must I do?” 

It’s taken the past five years for me to realize that just because I can do something doesn’t mean I should. It also doesn’t mean that it’s what God wants for me or from me. (please twee).

I may have similar gifting, and even more experience than someone else, but that doesn’t mean God intends me to do a certain job.

He picks and chooses everyone. Even people we think are less qualified. He does this because He has a plan and purpose for us all. 

We don’t have to understand the plan, or even like it.

But we need to accept it.

It’s only in accepting His plan that we find peace, grow, and can be used by Him in the future.

We aren’t told how Joseph felt about not being chosen.

Maybe he was relieved. Maybe it was a job he didn’t really want. 

Perhaps he was more mature than me and was able to accept the decision with a grace I’m still learning about.

Or maybe he was like me. Maybe it ate at him that he wasn’t chosen- but I don’t think it did, or if it did, he moved past it.

Fact is, we can speculate all we want. We don’t know what he thought or how he felt, but we can be certain that God had a purpose in NOT choosing him for that position. 

Though we are not told the “why” we do know that Joseph continued to serve God. While Matthias isn’t mentioned again in Scripture, the one NOT chosen is. 

God had a plan for Joseph, called Barsabas, that didn’t involve taking a leadership position at that time.

Later he was used to further God’s Kingdom by helping Paul. Scripture says he was a leading man among the brethren (Acts 15:22). 

Even though he wasn’t chosen previously, he was chosen later because he remained open to being used by God. He remained God’s servant.

God knows what each of us need and can handle.

We must trust Him.

And we mustn’t let our hearts get hard if we aren’t chosen for something.

We can’t give into our emotions.

We must remember that God has chosen us. We are a royal priesthood. 

God has a plan for you. And He knows the best time to let things come to pass in your life.

So no matter if you’re chosen today or tomorrow, remain a leader. Remain open to God using you in any capacity He sees fit…even if that means you’re chosen last.

Have peace my friend, you are a winner, even if you don’t feel like it.

Unintentionally Self-Righteous

I’ve come to realize Church people (AKA Christians) often unintentionally hurt people.

I say unintentionally because I truly believe they mean well. 

I’m currently in a strange place in my life and walk with God.

He is doing something in me and my family that I don’t understand. Yet, I know we are obeying Him. We seek Him daily about this situation and yet many of our close friends doubt what God is telling us.

We are currently without a church home. Have been for a few months. Yep, we don’t go to church.

In fact, the more we try to find a church to call “home”, the more it seems God is instructing us to stay home.

This seems completely contrary to His Word about not neglecting Christian fellowship and all sorts of Scriptural references about raising kids up "right" (believe me, I’ve had many quoted to me lately).

And as well meaning as peoples intentions are, there are times I've felt really bad because of them. I’ve felt as if I’m a bad parent. That I’m not devoted to Christ. That I’m selfish. That I’m being too picky (after all there’s no perfect church, but going to any church must be better than staying home).

But here’s the catch. 

I know this is God’s will for us at this time.

I don’t understand the why, nor do I know how long this will take.

My heart aches to attend a church, to be part of the family of God, to worship with other believers, to pray for others, to learn more about God’s Word…but God is showing me that I don’t need a building or a “church home” for any of this to happen. I am the temple of God because He lives in me. Everywhere I am can be ‘church’.  (Click to Tweet).

Also, NOT having a church home is causing me and my husband to be even MORE INTENTIONAL about seeking God. It’s amazing how much we can become dependent upon the church and let it take the place of God Himself directing us, sustaining us, fellowshipping with us. 

Daily, God is showing me more about Himself. To be honest, I’m not sure I would be learning this if I were dedicated to a church body.

This may not make any sense to you. You may be tempted to judge me…go ahead. So many of my closest friends are. 

They mean well. They want to see us in church. They truly believe our son is missing out by NOT going.

But I know, and God knows, we pray with our son everyday, we talk to him about God daily, and he is learning Scripture. We don’t need a church for him to learn about having a relationship with God, we simply must live it before him. 

This has been a great learning experience. And throughout this journey I've had to remind myself that emotions are not reality. Likewise, I've had to keep my heart soft and not get upset at the people who care so much for me and my family.

Now you might be wondering why I’m telling you all this. 

Here’s the reason: I realize I’m guilty of being “well meaning” but hurting others. I’m guilty of being self righteous and judgmental because I think God can only work in one way or that I know what He is telling you better than you know. 

I want to apologize. 

I’m not God and I’m sorry if I’ve ever made you feel bad. 

I don’t want to be a “know it all”. I don’t want to assume anything.

I am not perfect.

I don’t have it all figured out.

I’m just here to share with you what God is doing in my life. I pray you will be blessed by it and that God speaks to you- not me. 

I’m His servant, even when it doesn’t make sense (click to tweet).

Have a blessed week.

Lessons From Peter: "Do You Love Me?"

Follow me through the progression of this story: 

 ^“And the Lord said, “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.” Luke 22:31-32 NKJV

 

Jesus warned Peter. He told him satan was about to test him…and that he would fail that test. Notice Jesus didn’t pray that Peter wouldn’t be tested, He prayed Peter’s faith could withstand the fire.

Today, Jesus still warns us because satan is still asking for us the way he did Peter. Jesus sits as our mediator, praying for us. But we must also do our part. We must heed His warnings…and when we fail, like Peter, we must return to Him.

“ When He came to the place, He said to them, “Pray that you may not enter into temptation.”… When He rose up from prayer, and had come to His disciples, He found them sleeping from sorrow. Then He said to them, “Why do you sleep? Rise and pray, lest you enter into temptation.”Luke 22:40-46 NKJV (emphasis mine)

Here we see Jesus instructing His disciplines to pray…pray they wouldn’t be tempted. You’d think after the warning Jesus just gave Peter that Peter would be diligent to heed that warning and he’d be praying long after everyone else. But he didn’t. His flesh, like ours, was weak. Instead of praying, he slept. 

Makes me wonder, when Jesus warns us today, do we press in closer or is our flesh weak? Do we pray or do we sleep? 

“But Peter said, “Man, I do not know what you are saying!”Immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had said to him, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.”  So Peter went out and wept bitterly.”Luke 22:60-62 NKJV

Peter had been warned a test was coming. Petered had been instructed to pray. Peter failed…and he knew it. We aren’t told why Peter didn’t heed Christ’s directives better; it could have been short sightedness or even pride. It’s easy on this side of the event to judge him, I mean everything Christ said was playing out step by step (denial by denial) but it’s harder when you’re IN the situation to realize what’s transpiring. 

Our flesh is weak. Some of us are guilty of being short sighted, others of being too prideful. There are a million reasons why we don’t listen to Christ or heed His Holy Word (Bible) but the ‘why’ isn’t the point here. The result of what it produces in us is the focus on this discussion.

Failing to obey God, giving in to our flesh, will cause us to weep bitterly. 

This is where it’s vital we remember the rest of what Jesus told Peter…”when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren”

After failing, we must return to God. Not only that, we must learn from the failings and use it to help others. Let the fire refine us. Nothing like fire to help us learn more about our need of God and how to apply His Word to our lives (Psalm 119:71). 

“So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more than these?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” …Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.” Jesus said to him, “Feed My sheep.” John 15:21-17 NKJV
 

Christ is asking us today, “Do you love me?”

 

If you say “yes” then He wants to know if you’re obeying His commands? 

Are you living your life for you or for Him?

Are you giving into your flesh or pressing in with more prayer?

Are you sharing your testimony of all the grace God has bestowed upon you? 

Are you feeding His sheep? 

Daily we are tested. Daily we fail. Daily we must return to Him and let Him re-direct our paths for His glory.

Daily we must choose Him.

Daily He warns us. Daily He prays for us. Daily He asks, “Do you love me?”