Caleb and his wife are missionaries, and parents, in the
Ukraine. Their lives are much
different than the average American Christian—for starters, they have to think
about evacuation plans if the war comes closer to their home. They also have to
raise their kids in a violent and unstable society that is undergoing massive
change.
If you’re a parent or someone in a youth leadership position—and
even if you’re not—I highly encourage you to read this two part interview.
This message is important as things around the globe are becoming
more unstable.
Many argue we are living in the “last days”.
Likewise, others denounce that, saying there have always been
times like these.
There has always been murder, war, hatred, adultery,
pornography, drugs, slavery, etc.
However, I contend that there has never been a time exactly
like this: A time when children have
instant access to knowledge through social media and technology.
Adults exert so much effort sheltering kids from certain
realities (such as the beheadings of Christians in the Middle East and the war
in Ukraine) but we almost passively allow our children to be bombarded with
messages of sex, drugs, and violence in the form of “entertainment”.
It’s ironic and it’s making our children unprepared for the
harsh realities of this world and what is coming.
I cannot say with
certainty that America will have another 9/11 event, that there will be a
draft like in Vietnam, that we will
experience another Great Depression, or that we are headed to WWIII.
But I can tell you there are places in our world that are
experiencing events similar to these.
There are children who face uncertainties that many American’s
think “could never happen here.”
But we are wrong.
It can happen anywhere. At anytime.
Now, on to the interview:
1.
A few months ago America commemorated the
13th Anniversary of the 9/11 terrorists attacks. As I thought back
on that day and I looked at events currently transpiring around the globe, my
heart was sad. I was also shocked to realize a generation of kids is being
raised with little awareness of that tragic day. We shelter them from seeing
the videos of planes flying into the twin towers and people jumping from the
buildings. To top it off, we seem to have a “hushed” mentality of how we speak
about it, leaving our kids in the dark about what that day meant. And I’m
frustrated by how hard it is to filter our kids from so called “entertainment”.
I have to admit, I’m struggling to find a balance between sheltering my kid and
knowing how much information to give. Can you give some insight on your
thoughts on this?
My wife and I
simply try not to go out of our way to hide things like death from our kids. We
also don’t go out of our way to expose them to it. I have always felt that
American culture has a very skewed view of death. On the one hand children see
killing in movies, games and on tv daily and on the other hand they have
probably never seen someone die and if they did go to a funeral, it’s not
likely that it was open casket.
In many parts
of the world, when a family member dies, the body is in the home and it’s the
family that deals with it. This may not be pleasant but it is healthy for our
understanding of death and it does help people through the grieving process.
2.
Caleb, you were on furlough in America when
the fighting began heating up in the Ukraine. Yet you and your family decided
to return there despite the dangers. How did you speak to your children about
your decision?
Honestly, it
wasn’t even something that really came up. Our main concern was, “what do we do
if we can’t go back?” We have family in Odessa, so we’d been talking with them
on Skype regularly and no one in our family felt any reservations about going
back.
Once we got
back we did talk with the kids about what would happen if the war started
moving in our direction. I wanted them to know that we did have a plan so that
they wouldn’t be surprised if it came to that.
One thing we
don’t do is we don’t sit and watch the news about Ukraine all day. There was a
period a couple of months ago when things were escalating very fast and I
started spending too much time on the news sites. I began to feel that it was
wearing me out and I made a decision that I just couldn’t do that anymore.
I check the
news now once or twice a day online and that’s it. If things are heating up we
talk with the kids about it around the dinner table. Sometimes they come home
with questions because their friends have told them something, so we try to
deal with that as it comes.
We also spend
time as a family praying for Ukraine and I think that’s one of the most
important things we do. I want our kids to realize that ultimately God is still
on the throne.
4.
That’s
powerful, Caleb. Praying with your kids about the Ukraine, letting them hear
you petition God and trust Him through prayers with things that are unsettling.
I can see how that is very important. Can you tell us about the fears your kids
have with the unstable world around them and how you and your wife address it.
Believe it or
not they’re pretty much regular kids and they don’t seem to be too bothered by
the war at this point. Last month we crossed the border from Ukraine into
Moldova on the way to a conference, the kids had fun counting the army tanks we
saw.
5.
That’s
mind blowing to me as an American! How normal things like tanks can become to
daily life, yet through various historical books I know that is a very normal occurrence.
You mention in one blog post that during times of war, priorities change. Tell us
about how your family’s life has changed because of the events transpiring
around you. Both the good and bad.
The one word
that comes to my mind is “focus.” Whenever tragic events like this occur in the
world around you it forces you to focus on those things that are most
meaningful and on those things that you know will last even if your home and
life as you know it are destroyed.
The other major
difference is in planning. No one here is planning long term. Of course, that
can be good and bad. The good part is that it simplifies life for you; the bad
part is that certain things just won’t happen without long term planning.
Join us next week as we continue this interview.