Who I Am...

Something’s been on my heart lately… but I was hesitant to share it with you. After reading my friend, Lincoln Parks’ post last week, I felt compelled to get personal. 

When I read comments in my posts, I’m often stunned speechless.

 I’m humbled and in awe of your kindness. That you read my words is amazing, that you think it’s worth praising blows me away!

I want to thank you all for your encouragement and generosity of uplifting words. There are days it motivates me to keep blogging/writing. God knows we all need edification and I thank you for helping build me up.  You are a treasure!

But something troubles me. 

I feel I somehow give you a false perception of who I am.

I am not wise.

And I feel far from being a leader.

What I am is a growing Christian.

I struggle with:

Time management

Perfectionism

People pleasing

Depression

I’m guilty of:

Trading “good” things for “God” things because I get impatient and want to DO something

Comparing myself to others

Asking for God’s help yet not listening to His answers

Thinking my worth is based on performance

I’m scared of:

Sharing my insecurities with you

Failing… and sometimes of succeeding

Complete surrender to my Savior (yet I push forward anyway and continue to die to myself so that HE might be glorified)

There you go…

I’m human.

I hope you will forgive my imperfections and keep reading my blog.

I hope you won’t view me differently and start thinking my posts aren’t God inspired. 

I am HIS servant… and yours. 

All things good on this blog are from Him…anything less is me getting in His way.

I thank you for your friendships.

I hope you feel encouraged today as you realize we all are human and need His grace.

And yes, His grace really is enough! 

^"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39 NIV

God bless.

Hard Lessons About Grace

I’ve told you before that some of my closest friends are atheists. Over the years, we’ve had several deep conversations that challenge my own beliefs in God (in the end this strengthens my own faith).

One such (repeated) conversation is how can God be loving and gracious and yet command armies in the Bible to kill entire villages?

How’s that loving?

How is this God any different from other gods?

To be honest, this is a tough conversation to have with non-believers because some things just take faith to accept…but it’s also hard because to even begin to understand, one must have a deep understanding of the HISTORY of the Bible and the context of what was transpiring around certain events (and I have a mediocre grasp at best).

In the 6^th Chapter of “The Grace of God” by Andy Stanley, we begin to understand WHY God told Joshua to kill all living things after the walls fell around Jericho. 

Jericho had become increasingly corrupt. Destroying them wasn’t some quick decision made by an angry God. While the Bible doesn’t tell us God sent prophets to warn the people of Jericho to repent, it’s likely He did. After all, the harlot Rahab had heard stories about God and was willing to risk death to help Joshua’s spies. Her knowledge had to come from somewhere. 

Also, you need to remember there were other instances in the Bible where God sent messengers to nations besides Israel-calling them to repentance- Nineveh is one such example. So it’s not hard to draw the conclusion that God HAD warned the inhabitants of Jericho BEFORE sending Joshua in to destroy them (plus they had 6 days of the Israelites walking around the walls to have a change of heart and repent…and they didn’t). 

Even taking all that into consideration, why destroy them…why not just enslave them…wouldn’t that be kinder?

Maybe.

Here’s what a Christian needs to understand about God…He loves us too much to NOT protect us from evil- that’s why we have laws. And because we can never live up to those laws, we have grace. But even the laws are about grace- Grace goes out of its way for others in ALL ways imaginable. (click to tweet)

God had called His people OUT of bondage from Egypt and He didn’t want them to go back. They were still “new” in their walk with God, with trusting Him. It was still much easier for them to turn back to the idols their flesh could understand and manipulate. Grace didn’t want to take any chances with these fledgling Israelites.  Grace wanted to offer God’s people the best shot at success/happiness as possible.

And since God wanted what was best for His children…a clean slate was in order. A chance to take possession of the Promise Land without any defilement getting in the way of the relationship between God and His chosen people. 

As we know, it didn’t really matter that they had a fresh start. Over time, if we don’t guard our hearts, our flesh will win out. It did with Israel. Even though God had given them His laws to help safeguard their relationship from idolatry, even though He had purged the land of defiling acts against His holiness, the Israelites slowly hardened their hearts against God.

We’re all guilty of doing this.

That’s why God’s grace trumps the law.

It’s why we all need to seek His grace daily.

It’s why we can’t begin to understand the lengths God will go in order to help His children live the abundant life (John 10:10).

God doesn’t make sense.

His grace doesn’t make sense.

Sending His Son to die for us doesn’t make sense (John 3:16-17).

Some things simply take faith. 

Faith can be strengthened with a solid foundation of Biblical truths …but still some things simply take faith to accept.

God having Joshua kill innocent lives is hard for anyone to swallow…even harder for an unbeliever to understand how Grace toward God’s people meant others had to die. 

But grace can’t always be explained…it’s better experienced firsthand. (click to tweet)

To read more thoughts on this chapter, check out Jason, Sarah, and Dusty’s blogs (and links to others who are participating in this book club).

What Does "CHURCH" Mean To You?

Ever have a scripture you’ve read a million times suddenly take on new meaning?

I recently did… and it blew me away.

I’ve read John 13:35 numerous times. Each time I thought I understood it…The world would know I was a Christian by loving others. 

I thought my acts of kindness, such as giving money to beggars or not yelling at the waiter who got my order wrong-AGAIN, were showing God’s love.

And they were/are. 

But that’s not what this verse is talking about. 

Let’s read it.

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (emphasis mine)

Love one another.

I took that in general, meaning -Love everyone.

But in this verse Jesus was speaking to the disciples about loving each other…loving their fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

By loving each member in the Body of Christ, the world will see/know/recognize Christ in us.

By loving those INSIDE the church who irritate us, the world will see/know/recognize Christ in us.

By loving other Christians even when it’s not convenient, the world will see/know/recognize Christ in us.

Lately it seems each time I read the NT God is showing me how much we have to actively guard our churches from disunity. It was prevalent shortly after Christ’s resurrection and it’s prevalent now. 

1 Cor 13 is commonly called the “Love Chapter” but when we read the chapters BEFORE and AFTER we see these qualities of love are talking about loving those INSIDE  the church, not just our spouses or the world.

Why do we have such a hard time loving those who sit in the pews around us?

Think we don’t have this issue? Read thru 1 Cor 13: 

It’s not loving to gossip about fellow Christians.

It’s not loving to criticize our pastors when the sermons run long.

It’s not loving to hold grudges.

It’s not loving to be selfish.

The list can go on…and it does- all throughout the Bible.

Christians are called to love the world AND each other.

By NOT showing love to each other, we are misrepresenting Christ to the world (Tweet this). 

Why would the world want to be a member of something that seems broken?

Why would the world want to fellowship with people who are mean and make them feel bad about themselves?

Why would the world want to follow Christ when it seems that those who do are some of the most unhappy people alive?

I’m currently reading “I Am a Church Member” by Thom S. Rainer. So far it’s a pretty powerful book.  

Church members have a responsibility to LOVE each other, to SERVE each other, and to be UNIFIED.

Church isn’t a country club membership where the pastor and staff serve you. 

Church isn’t something to make you feel better about yourself.

Church isn’t a way to heaven. 

Church membership is work…being part of the Body of Christ is work.

Are you doing your part?