Sometimes it seems God brings me to the same test and I keep failing it.
This can be frustrating and discouraging.
I find myself asking, “Will I ever get it right? Why am I still so immature in my faith? How come I can’t trust God more?”
In Chapter 13 of “The Fire of Delayed Answers” by Sorge, I find hope for my repeated failures in a story about Peter.
Peter had really messed up.
He denied Christ 3 times!
Jesus knew Peter was going to blow it but FAILING was the whole point.
The test wasn’t about “passing”; it was about Peter realizing his love for Christ wasn’t as strong as he’d thought.
“The Lord wants to know if we love Him, or if we love a Jesus of our own mental creation…He’s saying to us, “I know you love Me when I bless you... But will you still love Me, even if I halt the blessings to your life and allow some troubles to touch you?”” (pg 203)
Daily my love for God is tested as frustrations rise up and choke out my praise. I want deliverance! God wants my heart so He tests me. The tests aren’t about me “passing”, they’re about me realizing I need God more than I need “deliverance”.
“The purpose of the test was fulfilled when Peter failed. The Lord wanted to break Peter of his self-reliance so that he would learn to depend on God for everything. He came to realize that he couldn’t even love without Christ’s help.” (pg 204)
Like Peter, I need to learn nothing is about me. It’s all about God. About Him IN me. I can’t even love, pray, believe, or obey on my own! I need God for all of it!
Sorge postulates that many Christians are in a “love test” but they’re responding as they would to a “faith test”, this is causing frustration and confusion for them.
“”Do you love ME?”…He’s (God) allowing them to come into severe crisis, and instead of responding to any of the methodologies they learned in the faith test, He’s watching them struggle in the midst of their confusion…He’s wanting to determine if they’ll remain true in their love or if they’ll get offended and turn away from Him….He wants to bring us to the place where nothing else matters, just as long as we know He loves us.” (pg 204)
God loves you, my friend.
Cling to His love.
Don’t worry if your faith isn’t big enough.
This isn’t about you. It’s about God IN you, and His faith IS big enough…so is His love.
But is your love for Him big enough to cling to Him when it feels as if He doesn’t care?
Again, don’t worry if your love isn’t big enough.
He will stretch your heart gently as possible, so that through the fire, you will learn to love Him the way He loves you- unconditionally.
And don’t worry if you “fail” a test, sometimes failing is exactly what God wants for you.
With God it’s not about “passing” or “failing”, it’s about growing.
Join the Book club discussion of, “The Fire of Delayed Answers” by Bob Sorge. You can read more about this chapter from: Jason, Sarah, Dusty, Kari, Glynn, and Joell.