Welcome

Greetings,
I invite you to join discussions, it enhances the reading experience for everyone. Please share your thoughts, opinions and knowledge in a respectful manner. May we all learn something in our endeavor to educate our hearts and minds. I look forward to hearing from you!
Sincerely,
TC AVEY

Monday, May 2, 2016

I love you…I just don’t want to spend time with you



The phone rang again.  Would he answer this time or let it roll over to voice mail?

“Hello.”

“Hey, honey. It’s me.”

“Hey, how’s it going?” He sounds distracted. As usual.

I swallow the lump in my throat.  If I thought he really wanted to know, I’d tell him. But after ten years together I know he doesn’t expect a genuine reply. 

“Good. I’m just calling to see if you’ll be home for dinner.  I’ll make your favorite—”

“Not tonight. A client flew in and I’m taking him out.”

Of course you are.   I exhale softly.  “Okay, well how about we go out to eat tomorrow night? You pick the place.”

“Sorry, but I can’t. This merger is really putting me behind.”

“What about us?” I squeeze my eyes closed. I will not cry.

“What about us? Wasn’t it only a few weeks ago I took you to see that play?”

Through the phone I hear papers crinkle as he continues to work.  “That was four months ago…for my birthday.” How could he forget?

“Sheesh. Calm down. I know it was just last week we met for lunch.”

I count to three before replying, “That was two weeks ago and you were late, only had one cup of coffee, then you split. “

A loud sigh whooshes in my ear. “I’m sorry. I just have too much on my plate right now…deadlines to meet, people to please…”

The silence becomes deafening as he waits for me to let him off the hook.  It’s what I always do, but not this time.  His absence from our marriage has gone on for too long.

“I have a few hours open Thursday evening. Make reservations at your favorite restaurant, text me the info and I’ll meet you.”

A smile tugs at my lips but my heart is cautious. “Are you sure you won’t forget?”

“That’s why I said text me the info. I’ll put it on my calendar.”

I bite back my snarky reply, Was our anniversary being today NOT on your calendar?

“Do you need anything else?  I’m late for a meeting.”

“Nope. Love you, can’t wait for our date.”

“Love you too. Bye.”

I click the END button on my phone and wipe the tears off my cheeks.

You love me, you just don’t want to spend time with me.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

The above story is fiction.

But the lessons we can glean from it are not.

Relationships take work.

They require time and effort from all parties involved. 

If one person isn’t invested, the whole relationship is strained.

If left unchecked it can be fatal…just like cancer if not treated.

I know if I act like my marriage is an inconvenience or something to be checked off my “to-do”  list that it wouldn’t be long before my husband questions my love,  devotion and my motives for being in the relationship.  

A relationship with God is similar. 

Salvation isn’t a “Get out of jail free card” nor is it like a membership to a country club (what’s in it for me, how does 
church/God benefit me).

Salvation is an invitation to join into a relationship with God. (click to tweet)

Going to church a few times a year isn’t going to cut it.
Likewise, going to church every week, tithing and volunteer work do not equate a healthy relationship (though it may appear to).

God knows when your heart is in it or if you are just pretending to love Him. 

God knows your motives better than you do. He knows if you’re more into appearances than actual devotion to Him.

He knows all this and yet He loves you anyway. 

God wants a relationship with you.  He wants to be included in your day, considered in your decision making and part of your  life. (Click to tweet)

He’s waiting for you to want Him, like He wants you.  He wants to share Himself with you, but He’s waiting for you to choose Him. 

Your schedule may be cram packed, but you can still squeeze in a few moments with Him.

We make time for what’s important to us.  We make time for those we love and value.

QUESTIONS: How’s your relationship with God?   If it were a real marriage would you be going strong or would you be in counseling? Would you be more in love with each passing year or headed for divorce court?



Monday, April 4, 2016

Borrowed Time



A while back a friend of mine, Laura Hodges Poole, began her post by saying, “I did something this morning I can’t take credit for. I woke up.” (To read the full post click here.)

How often do we assume we will have another day?

The fact is, we are not promised our next heartbeat…and yet we live as if we will never die.

We put off telling someone how we feel.

We hold onto grudges.

We refuse to say ‘sorry’ until the other party goes first.

We leave tasks undone, words unsaid, and debts unpaid.

One day bleeds into another and we forget how fragile life is.

We ignore the reality that at any moment we could breathe our last.

There’s a Christian song by Jason Gray called, Good to be Alive.

Here’s the chorus:
                I want to live like there’s no tomorrow
    Love like I’m on borrowed time
   It’s good to be alive.

How would your life look if you truly believed these words?

How would you LOVE others if you thought you were living on borrowed time?

What would change in your day?

Who would you contact? What would you tell them?

What task would you make sure was completed?

Would you forgive someone over something that happened eons ago? Setting you both free from the pain you’ve been holding onto?

Would you pray for the person who cuts you off in traffic instead of flipping them off?

Would you pay for someone’s meal at a restaurant simply because you can and it would make them feel good?

Would give away something you’ve been holding onto (like an old car you don’t use) because you realize you can’t take it with you to the grave?

Would you get over your fears and tell people about Salvation through Christ because you know you won’t ever have another chance and you don’t want to risk their eternity?

What would you do differently if today was truly our last day on earth?

Monday, March 7, 2016

Bad Day at Work...we all have them no matter what our jobs are or how much we love them.



Before having kids I never thought of parenting as a “job”. 

I was wrong.

Being a parent is a 24/7, never ending, no holiday’s or PTO type job.

And I LOVE it…95% of the time.

The other 5% I want to pull my hair out. I feel overwhelmed, under-qualified, and completely at a loss as to what I should do.

But unlike a real “job”, I can’t quite.

I’m a mom for life!

And I LOVE that.

But as with all jobs, there are “Bad Days”.

Recently I experienced one of those 5% days when I’m stressed to the limit and not enjoying my job. 

I tried praying, but I couldn’t focus.

I felt drained, irritable, and in need of rejuvenation.

At the end of the day I was able to pray and read my Bible.

During that time God reminded me that thoughout my day I had a choice on how I would respond to my problems.

He reminded me that my focus determines my reality and I wasn’t focused on God or loving my boys. I was focused on ME. And my reality sucked because of it. 

God reminded me that SELFISHNESS is what kept me in my bad mood and ruined my day.

I began thinking about the job’s I had before becoming a stay at home mom.

I’d had bad days in those jobs too.

Day’s where I felt undervalued and overworked.

Day’s when I didn’t want to go in.

Day’s when I thought what I was doing was meaningless.

All those day’s had something in common with my current bad day: SELFISHNESS.

How I felt.
What I wanted.
Where I would rather be.
Who I felt was wrong (hint: it was rarely me)
Why I felt something wasn’t fair.
When I wanted a break.

ME. ME. ME.

Me. I am the cause of my bad days staying bad. 

My choices.
My attitude.
What I’m focused on. 

Yes, sometimes bad things happen that really suck and are out of my control.

But I don’t have to let circumstances dictate how my day goes.

Situations should not define my mood. 

Romans 13:9-14 NLT says, “…Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to others… Instead, clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don’t let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires.”(emphasis mine)

When I’m busy loving others I don’t have time to focus on my environment or how I feel. 

When my focus is LOVE, my reality changes. My attitude changes. My thoughts change and I don’t have time to be self-centered. (click to tweet)

I have a CHOICE to love others through my words and my actions. 

I have a CHOICE on what I am going to focus on and how my day goes beyond a situation.

Yes, bad days happen…even if we LOVE our jobs.

But we don’t have to be stuck in our bad day.

When we are clothed with Christ (who is love) we don’t have time to think about indulging in our evil desires. 

But it’s a choice. 

A choice to be clothed in Christ.

And a choice to NOT think about self and to love others.

Remember: Love is patient, kind, never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance.

Love is NOT jealous, boastful, proud, rude, irritable, demanding, or self-centered. Nor does it keep track of when it is wronged. (1 Cor 13)

I don’t know about you, but I need to work on my love.

I need to work on my choices.

When my day doesn’t go as I’d like, I need to remember to focus on God and not self.

Bad days will come, but they don’t have to stay.

It’s a choice.

FYI-
Need something to read over Spring Break?  My book, The Precipice: When Everything We Know Ends will be FREE on Amazon March 10-14.