Have you ever prayed for something but didn’t really want it answered?
I’ve prayed for more faith, to trust God more, and to mature in Him.
But I’m guilty of resisting His efforts to see this happen in me.
I want to share my experience with you.
It begins with this song:
“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wonder
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior”
I LOVE this song. Since it came out, I have sang and prayed it more times than I can count.
“Lead me where my trust is without borders.”
That’s a powerful prayer. One I’m not always certain I want answered…even if I do want my faith to grow stronger.
You see, I like borders.
They help me feel safe.
I know how to navigate within borders.
So if I want to go OUTSIDE my comfort zone, OUTSIDE the borders, if I want my faith to increase, then God has to “take me deeper than my feet could ever wonder”.
I will not go into the unknown on my own.
Fear keeps me back.
But thank God. He orchestrates the waves even when I resist.
Recently, these lyrics reminded me to keep my eyes above the waves that were crashing down on my family. As I sang this song I heard God whisper that He was answering my prayer.
He is the one who led me into this "great unknown".
He led me outside my borders and I needed to trust Him.
You see, my 5 year old son has had a medical problem since he was a baby. We’ve seen specialists and done various treatment plans and still he deals with this painful problem.
My heart aches for him.
Over the years I have cried out to God asking for healing, deliverance, and assurance.
I’ve often asked Him, “WHY?”
That day He answered, “I’m taking you deeper than your feet could wonder. I’m stretching your faith. I’m here. You may not understand ‘why’, but I do. Trust me.”
And that’s when it hit me: On my own, I NEVER would have picked this storm. I NEVER would have gone beyond the borders where my son is hurting. My feet NEVER would have stepped upon these waters. I would have avoided it at all costs.
And yet, God is answering my prayers.
He isn’t doing it how I would like.
But that doesn’t make Him any less good.
This storm is teaching me and stretching me. (And I believe it’s doing the same for my son and husband too- it’s never just about ME).
You see, we can’t choose the trails we face or the storms we must go through.
We can’t ask God to grow us and then try and dictate HOW it happens (trust me, I’ve tried).
We are NOT in charge.
And His ways are higher and perfect.
The chaos we feel at being outside our borders can be scary. But God walks on the waters with us as we go through the waves to reach the shore.
Your faith (like mine) is being made stronger.
And that’s worth a little sea sickness.
If you’ve never heard this song click the link above. I think you’ll be blessed.